blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
