i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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