That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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