I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
