He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
