Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
