it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
