I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize