So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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