Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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