He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
