To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
