I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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