I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
