This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize