doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
