great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
