I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
