No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
