that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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