It's just like the Real World with babies
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
