Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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