I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
