we're blogging at a bar
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
