her vagine was all disorganized.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
