you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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