Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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