The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
