I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
