Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
