My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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