Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
