you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
