let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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