Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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