Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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