I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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