I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
