we made out on top of his cat.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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