dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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