You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
