You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
