he puts the penis in happiness.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Randomize