I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
