Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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