How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
