I think I died a long time ago.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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