I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
