Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
