i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
