you have to choose: penises or morals?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
