I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
