I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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