Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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